“When God is A Silent Partner You Wait.”
When God is a silent partner you wait for Him To speak and show you when he is ready to move. It’s not Fun. At least I don’t think it’s fun.
I remember when God called me up on the “phone” and said I would do great things in His name. I specifically recall his message to ME on the day I was baptized in the Holy Spirit and the preacher was jumping around in his shiny black shoes and his Zoot Suite, which is what we used to call it, screaming for revival. The preacher then jumped down off the altar and started running around and said “God is about do delivery a special delivery!” And then he yelled “now!”
All of a sudden my eyes filled with hot tears and I had a sensation of hot oils pouring from my elbows to my palms as I raised my hands up and cried out to God, “Let them be healed!” That was 1998. I was almost 28 years old. I am now just a few months shy of 48. And I think either God forgot about me and his message of Hope or I am still waiting on him to bring me the solution to the problems I now face as a healer and a hands on massage therapist.
The only reason I got into this career field was to help others find healing. I wanted nothing more than to help others find healing from pain, stress and anxiety so badly that I worked day and night on people after I got my license because I believe in the power of laying on of hands and prayer.
I still do however, there were so many obstacles in my way once I decided to become a massage therapist that it is almost freaky. I think God forgot about our contract.
Maybe not. I mean I guess after complete financial ruin from a bitter and ugly divorce and then another financial ruin from the COVID shutdown I have every reason to look like I have been smacked upside the head with a Mac truck. Satan wants no more than to destroy my practice and my gift.
But God “you and I have an edict.”
God. You called me to this work and YOU opened doors for me to be able to swing from rope to rope like Tarzan so I am asking you to be merciful on me now that I have a potentially disabling auto immune condition and am growing worse by the day. Damn. Seriously?
I am going to make the assumption that stress markers like this are common in circumstances like mine (and there are many) and that like all good suffering folks with an auto immune disease that remission is right around the corner.
I do not have the time to waste on a rescinding contract with the almighty ONE who asked me to do this work in the first place.
Therefore I insist that God come in with his red pen and mark up the areas where I have failed Him and forgive me for being so human as to hurt like an empath for those that suffer and let me have full restoration in this matter.
It would be nice to have my face back. And my hands.
But for now the doctors have no answers and I continue to sleep on my mat in the floor for 2 and a half years now living off my parents of which I have never been more grateful. (And yes sleeping in the floor it is a choice.. sort of.) I have moved 13 times since 2012 so I really have PTSD when it comes to a bed.
And so. the next few weeks of healing this attack will be critical for me. It will be critical in ways still yet to be written. Why? Because my flare this time is a beast!!! I look like the elephant woman. Holy Leopards. lol.
My silent partner God, must be attending to other legal firms and matters of higher urgency right now, like economic civil war and unrest and global viruses which may or may not be natural to the state of our world bodies or caused by bats or monkeys. I dunno?
I can only hope that God has not breached His contract with me to help others find peace and become pain free as I do the same. I love my work and my clients. They are the best gift I have ever received and I know they love me too!
People who have gifts and callings like mine can get a little overzealous I guess. But Right now I’ll just chill out and hang tight until He decided to complete the ethical boundaries of my contract.
I am at least able to work part time due to “perimeters” beyond my control and of course my energy levels have to be watched.
But indeed if you are a praying person I’d love to ask for some. Auto immune disorders are increasingly common. And I can certainly talk to God all day on why but again He is the one with the solutions here so I am going to patiently wait on him to speak and make my future assignments when he is ready.