“What’s Really in a Nickname?” A Transition to Lovin’ More Than Expected.”
Have you ever had someone call you PollyAnna? Or _olly, Polly, Positive. Or She? Or He? Or Gay? Or Queer? Or…………………….
Lord, the list of pronouns and alternative names for who YOU are is endless.
Our society has been swept away with so many new politico standards of behavior and identity association, I feel I should write about my own sense of overwhelm and be the last person to apologize for my game face.
For me, figuring out the new game society wants us to play is both alluring and excruciating. Am I (we) a Pawn(s) in a global sacrifice?
Am I (we) a Queen(s) or King(s) placed strategically on a chess board designed to be filled with intellect, emotion, feelings, mental awareness or just Love?
You know Love right?
That enormous word that both serves as a Noun and a Verb. With the word Love, you have to ask yourself, are you feeling an action of Love by some hormonal relation which many people would classify as attraction or are you IN Love with someone sincerely knowing, you seek reciprocal action from the opponent, in every measure of the way but once achieved, find that that feeling of falling IN love is what drew you to make your move in the first place.
Just remember, as you make your moves on your gameboard, there is still that opposing energy which has it’s own plan of winning at Love, so head to head, you really should allow yourself to realize that not all chess players are created equal.
Falling in Love with someone can be as easy as creating a fianchetto move for another person, or as hard as creating a blockade defense, moving all other pieces out of your way, so you can have the person you desire forever and always. But, there always seems to be one real problem when falling in love. The term Check.
I would say something more like, “We better check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.”
I have found that after four marriages and 50 years of seeking Love from many partners (including my siblings, parents and coworkers) that Love in itself is a game of risk and strategy as much as it is a work in progress and a match that may not be made in heaven.
Checkmate.
Sometimes, we do not fall out of Love with someone after a decade of marriage, or house sharing, or mentorship etc.., etc. Sometimes we DO fall in Love with people for a fleeting moment, anticipating their moves will pair with our moves, and that we will still win the game even when the person you are playing the game with, ends up being a fish. (A poorly skilled chess player.)
If you find yourself in the game of Love, loving more than one person at a time, (Polyamory)then you may want to plan to make a Gambit move, sacrificing only a minor part of your playing pieces, because too many bad moves can be irreversible and bad for your reputation if you are a professional betting person.
There are very few Grandmaster players in the game of Love, so before anyone toss the chess pieces into the trash, let’s ask ourselves, is Love a Game worth playing and can you recover in Love when making one too many risky moves? (A Howler Move.)
In an Open move, you stop blocking pawns from allowing others to move around the board. You decide to give a little space to the opposition so that your vantage point increases, and you have a full awareness of what Love truly is verses what Love should not be.
Love should not be hateful, controlling or cruel. Love should not be isolating or excessively ranking another player by pretending to be so happy all the time, when there is still so much spiritual work to be done by the player.
Love should be enacted by consensual adult conversations, that would create more intelligence, beneficial financial partnerships and attraction which creates more love, curiosity and exploration.
Love should not be viewed as dirty or mishandled in a way that one person gets all the glory and the other person loses their ass on the chessboard because they were caught with their pants down, not looking while the other player, fell in love again.
Love is not marriage. Marriage is a contract. An INSTITUTION. Like a bank or a mental hospital. :)
Marriage and Love may fit perfectly into a box for some, but for others (Poly-folk) Love is a feeling and an experience that creates more Love when nurtured and cultivated.
I am finding in 2022 and beyond, Love can be a trap or a treasure. Love can be a trade or turmoil for all parties involved.
I suspect as our social rights and sensual inhibitions come under fire, that the experiences that consenting adults have when spending time with others (loving others including family, friends and partners) that one of two things will happen soon.
Free Love will return and become the norm, except maybe without so many mushrooms or weed, or Free Love will be hammered into the darkness by people who have long desired to squash Open relationships because the fear the unknown. (Or they are closet swingers and they do not want to get caught.)
Guilt, (which can be associated with multiparty relationships) can make you do stupid stuff, such as lie, cheat and steal.
Shame and Guilt live in the same house and play a violent game of chess with the other opponent making sealed moves until someone comes back to discuss the relationship in honesty and with non-violent communication.
So, today, ask yourself as the reader, if you have ever found yourself in Love with more than one person at a time? Ask yourself if you are “odd” or “queer” in how you like to develop your relationships. And lastly, ask yourself, if you're Smothering Your Mate into a Stalemate and giving that person you love no place to go, except crazy.
Eleanor
